I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARXFrom the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX