If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXI must admit, I was born at an early age.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX