I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARXI must admit, I was born at an early age.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX