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I must admit, I was born at an early age.

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Admit Age Born Early Life

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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX

Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX

Club Freedom Member
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX

Drunk Febuary Morning
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX

Against Attitude
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX

Hang Head Home One Liner Place
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX

Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX

Deal Fake Honesty Humour Life Secret
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Insult One Liner Remind Talk Time
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hospital Humour Parked Run Taxi
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX

Huff Humour Leave
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX

Bad Day Evening Wonderful
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX

Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX

Man One Liner Success Victory Wife Woman
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX

Hear Memories Past Stop Story
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Life Principles Rules

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