Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARXPaying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX