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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Life Principles Rules
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX

Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Bed Inspirational Lazy One Liner Worth
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX

Enough Learning Mistake Yourself
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX

Poverty State Work
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX

Doubt Interfere Marriage People Romance Sex Wife
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Mind Smoking
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX

Angry Funny One Liner Towel
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX

Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX

Bouquet Bride Groom Hollywood Marriage Throw
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Girlfriend Meet Naughty Wife
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Love Mother
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX

Hear Memories Past Stop Story

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