I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARXPaying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX