Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARXPaying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX