All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX






