If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX