Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX