Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX