Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX