All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX