Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX