If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX