The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARXThe trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARXThe only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARXI never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARXAll geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARXA very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARXI don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARXThose are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARXNext time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARXLove flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARXBefore I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARXJust give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARXDie in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARXMy mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARXI have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARXI’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX