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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX

Bed Inspirational Lazy One Liner Worth
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX

Beat Confidence Goodness Head Mind Revenge War
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Insult One Liner Remind Talk Time
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX

Father Funny Humour Plastic Surgeon Surgeon Women
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX

Against Attitude
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX

Exception Face Forget Humour
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Confidence
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX

Bless Crack Light One Liner
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX

Fly Love Money Reality Truth
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hospital Humour Parked Run Taxi
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX

Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX

Crazy Decent Life Meal Place Reality
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX

Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX

Applesauce Cranberry Taste
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX

Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World

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