I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARXMy mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX






