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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.

Related Topics

Children Love Mother

Bagwalas

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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX

Huff Humour Leave
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Freedom Money Thinking
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX

Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX

Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX

Applesauce Cranberry Taste
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX

Hear Memories Past Stop Story
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX

Feeling Man Naughty One Liner Sex Woman
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX

Deal Fake Honesty Humour Life Secret
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Education Humour Read Room Television
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX

Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX

Fly Love Money Reality Truth
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX

Beat Confidence Goodness Head Mind Revenge War
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX

Bore Hole Insult Run
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX

Animal Black Cat Cross Funny Humour Path

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