All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARXMy mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX