Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARXThe secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX






