A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARXThe secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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All geniuses die young.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX