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George Carlin Quote - The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN

Confuse Force House Humour Inspirational One Liner
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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Darkness Forecast Light Morning Night Weather
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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Brake Hands Inspirational Life One Liner Step
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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Forget Man One Liner Teaching Wisdom Wise
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Human Nature People Wasted Time
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite
There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Future Healing Immediate Past Present
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN

Arrange Beat Failure One Liner
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN

Avoid Circle Friendship Group Moral Wisdom
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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Alcohol Drinking Fuck Pregnant Warniing Women
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN

Dog Funny Inspirational Job Lying
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN

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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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America Body Crazy Fitness Lost Soul Try
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Charge Hustle Inspirational Kill One Liner
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crime Criminal Fight Fire Freedom

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