Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLINThe wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Religion is just mind control.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN