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George Carlin Quote - The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.

The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.

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Forget Man One Liner Teaching Wisdom Wise

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN

Brake Hands Inspirational Life One Liner Step
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crappy Day Funny Human Nature Humour People
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN

Believe Happiness One Liner World
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN

Arrange Beat Failure One Liner
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crime Criminal Fight Fire Freedom
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Snoking Swimming
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN

Grass Humanity Nation One Liner Sheep
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN

Cost Deep Freedom Hobby Interest Money Positive
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLIN

Destroy Drugs Mind One Liner Religion Thinking
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLIN

Better Birthday Inspirational Old One Liner Realize
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Inspirational Man Myself Shoes Sorry
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN

Audience Funny Stage World
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN

Avoid Circle Friendship Group Moral Wisdom
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLIN

Elimination Honesty Policy Rejection Remember

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