Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN