With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLIN