How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN