I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLINNever argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN