Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLINNever argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
More George Carlin Quotes
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN







