If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLINI don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
More George Carlin Quotes
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN