Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLINI don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
More George Carlin Quotes
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN -
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN