Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLINWhat do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
More George Carlin Quotes
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Religion is just mind control.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN