If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLINOne good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Is there another word for synonym?
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN