Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLINMost people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Religion is just mind control.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN