Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLINI think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
More George Carlin Quotes
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN