The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLINI think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN