Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLIN