Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
More George Carlin Quotes
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN