Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
More George Carlin Quotes
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN