How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINSome people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Religion is just mind control.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN