Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLINNot only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLINA good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLINThe reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLINPeople can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLINSo, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLINWith the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLINI’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLINBy and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLINConservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLINThink of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLINI’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLINThe caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLINThe IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLINThe main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLINIt’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN