It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLINSome people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN -
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN







