If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLINIf you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLINThere are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLINThink of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLINThe main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLINIf all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLINMay the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLINPeople always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLINMost people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLINLife is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLINDon’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLINMeow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLINScratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLINIf a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN