The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLINPeople can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN