Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLINWeather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
More George Carlin Quotes
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLIN







