If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLINWeather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Religion is just mind control.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLIN







