The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLINWeather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
More George Carlin Quotes
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN