There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLINThe most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLINIt’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLINI think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLINSo, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLINFighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLINIf someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLINIf a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLINLife is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLINPeople who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLINPardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLINI have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLINWould a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLINLife is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN