A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLINWell, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
More George Carlin Quotes
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN