The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLINThink of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN