Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLINOne tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN