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George Carlin Quote - I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.

I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.

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Humour Owned Science Telescope

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN

Friendship Humour Photographer Photography Picture Thief
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN

Confuse Force House Humour Inspirational One Liner
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN

Burn Death Enjoyment Family Fun Happiness Hell
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fight One Liner Peace Screw Sex Virgin
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Floor Funny One Liner Tequilla
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Darkness Forecast Light Morning Night Weather
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN

Believe Happiness One Liner World
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN

Children Fuck Humour Role Model
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Earn One Liner People Self Love
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fire Hustle Money People Work Hard
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Snoking Swimming
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bull Shit Life School Simplicity Teaching
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN

Inspirational Life One Liner Success

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