If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLINIf all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLINI’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLINElectricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLINScratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINIf your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLINThink of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLINEveryone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLINI like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLINSometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLINIs there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLINAge is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLINIf you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLINLaugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLINOne good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLINMeow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLINA good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLIN