We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLINHow can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Religion is just mind control.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLIN