“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.

Everyone smiles in the same language.

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.

Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.

Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.

Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.

The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

The problem of vindicating an omnipotent and omniscient God in the face of evil is insurmountable. Those who claim to have surmounted it, by recourse to notions of free will and other incoherencies, have merely heaped bad philosophy onto bad ethics.

Bad news isn’t wine. It doesn’t improve with age.

Islam, at the moment, is the motherlode of bad ideas.

To wanna be me is to go through not just the good but the bad. You wanna share my story identically? Man, you gonna take some lumps.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything.

I never liked sleeping in the dark. I have, like, twinkle stars around my bed, so it’s not so bad.

The only music I don’t like is bad music.