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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.

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Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX

Freedom Money Thinking
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Fly Love Money Reality Truth
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Enough Learning Mistake Yourself
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Attitude Down Human Nature Myself Pick
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Bore Hole Insult Run
Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Hear Memories Past Stop Story
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Attitude Confidence
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Bless Crack Light One Liner
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Best Friend Book Darkness Dog Friendship Read
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Deal Fake Honesty Humour Life Secret
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Humour Meet Night Own Theater

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