Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARXA year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX