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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.

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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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