Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARXBehind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX