Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARXBehind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX