I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX