While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARXFrom the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX