There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLINThe safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
More George Carlin Quotes
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN