“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”

Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.

Elvis Presley is all there is. There just ain’t no more. Everything starts and ends with Elvis. He wrote the book. He is everything to do and not to do in the music business.

This is beautiful indeed; the colored people have given this to the head of the government, and that government once sanctioned laws that would not permit its people to learn enough to enable them to read this book.

When you have mastered numbers, you will in fact no longer be reading numbers, any more than you read words when reading books You will be reading meanings.

Life is like an endless book. Each day is a new page and only death can bring the end to this little book of yours.

The Bible is alive, it speaks to me; it has feet, it runs after me; it has hands, it lays hold of me.

The true disciple should aim to live for the gospel, rather than to die for it.

I tried to write you as a novel but you were only meant to be a chapter.

However much you study, you cannot know without action. A donkey laden with books is neither an intellectual nor a wise man. Empty of essence, what learning has he whether upon him is firewood or book?