“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.”

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.

Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.

Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.

Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.

The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.

Forgiveness doesn’t always looks like things returning to normal. Words and actions change actions.

An affirmation opens the door. It’s a beginning point on the path to change.

You almost never get the pleasure of seeing that you won the argument in real time. People just don’t like to publicly change their minds. They change their minds in private.

I cannot change another person. I let others be who they are, and I simply love who I am.

You cannot change anything in your life with intention alone, which can become a watered-down, occasional hope that you’ll get to tomorrow. Intention without action is useless.

My happy weight changes. Sometimes I eat more; sometimes I play more. I’ll be different sizes all the time.

When we change our thoughts, we can truly change the world.

A single act of courage is often the tipping point for extraordinary change.