Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARXNo one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX