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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

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Attitude Confidence

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX

Applesauce Cranberry Taste
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX

Beat Confidence Goodness Head Mind Revenge War
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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Bad Day Evening Wonderful
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX

Army Justice Military Music One Liner
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Funny Hospital Humour Parked Run Taxi
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX

Angry Funny One Liner Towel
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX

Interesting Reality Sense Theory
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX

Closer Holding Love One Liner Romance
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX

Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX

Bless Crack Light One Liner
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Age Birthday Interesting Subject
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX

Education Love One Liner Reading
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX

Huff Humour Leave
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX

Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX

Insult One Liner Respect
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX

Anatomy Judgement Poverty

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