Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLINOne good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Meow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN -
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN







