The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLINI think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN