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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?

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Funny Humour Mind Smoking

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Fly Love Money Reality Truth
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Poverty State Work
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Bless Crack Light One Liner
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Applesauce Cranberry Taste
I only write first editions.
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Attitude Edition One Liner Writing
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Humour Meet Night Own Theater
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Art Humour Water
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Interest Naked Sex True
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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Book Comfortable Dog Goodness Peace Woman
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Cigar Love Mouth Relationship
Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Beat Confidence Goodness Head Mind Revenge War
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Drunk Febuary Morning

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