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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?

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Funny Humour Mind Smoking

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Life Principles Rules
All geniuses die young.
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Die Genius One Liner Young
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Exception Face Forget Humour
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX

Interest Naked Sex True
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Applesauce Cranberry Taste
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX

Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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Army Contradiction Intelligence Military One Liner
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX

Bad Day Evening Wonderful
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Fools Trouble Writing Yourself
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Edition One Liner Writing
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX

Love Man Romance Room
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Missing One Liner Women
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX

Hear Memories Past Stop Story

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