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George Carlin Quote - The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

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Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Person Realize Stupidity
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN

Audience Funny Stage World
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLIN

Citizen Ignorant Leadership Selfish
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN

One Liner Petty Sweat
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN

Group Inspirational One Liner People Stupidity Underestimate
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN

Breathe Life Memories Moment Travel
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Fly Walk
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN

Church Money Religion
With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN

Confidence Evil Genius Hustle One Liner Training
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN

Conceal Language One Liner Tool Truth
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Die Man One Liner Perfection
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fire Hustle Money People Work Hard
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN

Consider Kill Personality Situation
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bomb Inspirational Life Name Risk Scratch

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