The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLINThe IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
More George Carlin Quotes
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN







