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George Carlin Quote - The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

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Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fire Hustle Money People Work Hard
Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Human Nature People Wasted Time
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Life Money
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLIN

Age Hell Humour One Liner Price Wisdom
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Person Realize Stupidity
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Drinking Fuck Pregnant Warniing Women
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN

Concerntration Crack Flower Fuck Grass Hero
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN

Cling Confuse Hope One Liner
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN

Arrange Beat Failure One Liner
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN

Humour Owned Science Telescope
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN

One Liner Petty Sweat
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN

Grass Humanity Nation One Liner Sheep
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLIN

Destroy Drugs Mind One Liner Religion Thinking
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN

Children Fuck Humour Role Model
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Fly Walk

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