Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLINThe IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN