Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARXAnything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX