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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

Related Topics

Accused Constant Country Drought Fire Food Mud Swanson

Bagwalas

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Curve Set Smile Straight
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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Begin Else Everything Fal Maybe Out Spread Start True Wear
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’
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You’ve got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It’s when somebody steps on the bride’s train, or belches during the ceremony that you’ve got comedy!
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Beautiful Bribe Comedy Everything Goes Got Realize Somebody Step Train
Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.
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I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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Buddhism Depth Feng Numerous Straight Technology Transcendental Work
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
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Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!’
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Come Enemy Geet House Mess Really Strange Win
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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Christmas Everybody Forgotten Past Present Remember Time Want
You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
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Aligator Barefoot Compliment Know Shoe Someone
There’s such a buildup of crud in my oven, there’s only room to bake a single cupcake.
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Bake Buildup Crud Cupcake Open Roo Single Such

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