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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

Related Topics

Accused Constant Country Drought Fire Food Mud Swanson

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My body’s in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
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Bad Body Phase Prescription Shape Such Underwater Wear
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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Hat On Screw Wrinkle
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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Bachelor Guy Made Mistake Once Some
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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Best Eat Getmrid Kitchen Odor Out Way
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
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Bad Earn Ever Kid Last Lose Money Old Teeth Thing
If my jeans could talk, they’d plead for mercy.
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Jealous Mercy Pilead Talk
The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
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Body Doctor Hope Look Reincarnation Said Yes
I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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Beauty Came Constant Country Hit Last Mouth Once People Person
There’s such a buildup of crud in my oven, there’s only room to bake a single cupcake.
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Bake Buildup Crud Cupcake Open Roo Single Such
If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
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Enough Laugh Wrinkle
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Brisk Excercise Good Idea Sit
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
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Before Clean Grow House Kid Shovel Snow Stop Up
I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
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Chocolate Dirt Like Serve Show
self-pity is better than none.
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Better Ity None Self
My photographs don’t do me justice – they just look like me.
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Just Justice Like Look Photograph
I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing.
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Anybody Behind Doing Eighteen Iron Know Now Use Year

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