I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARXDon’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX