People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLINPeople love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLINEveryone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLINI’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLINI think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLINAtheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLINThe God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLINElectricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLINIf you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLINPeople who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLINWould a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLINThere are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLINMen are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLINThe main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLINPeople always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLINWeather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLINSome people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN