What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLINMeow means woof in cat.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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Religion is just mind control.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN







