I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARXIf you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX