Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARXIf you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX