The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
MARK TWAINForgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
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Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
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All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
MARK TWAIN