I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLINIf you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
More George Carlin Quotes
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Religion is just mind control.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN