I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLINI like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN