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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

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Age Confusion Father Myself Name

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Joke Laughter Myself Sing
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Himself Marriage Perfection
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Father Funny Himself Influence Mad
Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Listening Myself Pain Talk
I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself One Liner Sick
If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Eat Hungry Myself
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Himself Man
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Clothes Order Perfection Work
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Hope Myself Sing Yourself
I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself Sick Yourself
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Rain Sky
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Coward Hero Legs Myself
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Body Myself Time
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Appearance Funny Myself Time

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