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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Spike Milligan

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beautiful Eyes
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Man Vehicle
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Occasion Protection
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Rain Sky
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Father Funny Himself Influence Mad
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Joke Laughter Myself Sing
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Body Myself Time
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Father Greatness Himself Inspirational Mad
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Sea Sick Tree
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Farm Hands Himself Wife
I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself One Liner Sick
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Better Class Enemy Friendship Money Yourself
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Connection Funny God Himself Light Wait
Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Heart Love Nation Patriot Yourself
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Myself Plant Return
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Class Expectation Morning Yourself

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

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