70+ Norm MacDonald Quotes | Minimalist Quotes

It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
NORM MACDONALD

Adversity Better Desire Destroy Necessary Prosperity Ruin
Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD

Advice Man Opinion
Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
NORM MACDONALD

Appearance Health Liberty Lost Precious
Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD

Believe Discover Life Moon Yourself
I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
NORM MACDONALD

Ideas Memories Myself Reality Strong Word
The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
NORM MACDONALD

Different Moral Nation Reading
Few people love with the violence they hate.
NORM MACDONALD

Hate Love People Philosophy Violence
This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Greatness Money
There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
NORM MACDONALD

Communication Fools Practice Report Understand
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Learning Man Myself
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Identity Joke Myself Perfection
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Courageous Defeat Failure Hero Himself Lost Man Sick
When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALD

Acceptance Audience Goodness People
There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
NORM MACDONALD

Grief Man Mistake Virtue
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Day Death Funny Hospital Man Myself Old Sick
The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
NORM MACDONALD

Compliment Confidence Friendship Greatness Young
The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
NORM MACDONALD

Adversity Friendship Oneself Prosperity Reason True
We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
NORM MACDONALD

Danger Fear Ourselves Philosophy Situation Suffering
Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
NORM MACDONALD

Activity Ambition Energy Greatness Happiness
All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
NORM MACDONALD

Death Life Money Myself People Thinking Try
The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
NORM MACDONALD

Beginning Knowledge Mistake Philosophy Wisdom
I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Exercise Preference Sex Win Yourself
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
NORM MACDONALD

Condition Deserve Misfortune Ourselves
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Man Money Sick Win Yourself
I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
NORM MACDONALD

Difference Fight Fun Myself See
A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALD

Crime Evil Greatness Injustice Man Practice Success Thinking World
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD

Fortune Policy Wasted Time

Norm MacDonald Quotes

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